What Kodi Lee Can Teach Us About Quality of Life

I was at my aunt's house today and we were watching "America's Got Talent." We saw the episode where Kodi Lee got the Golden Buzzer. It was especially interesting to me because Kodi is blind and autistic. He is one of the rare autistic people with a savant skill, which means he is basically a genius in one area... music.  He has perfect pitch, and a photographic audio memory.

On the episode of America's Got Talent, Kodi's mother explained that when he was a toddler, she saw his face light up when he heard music, and she realized that it was going to be his passion.

I realize that most children, with or without autism, are not going to be savants or geniuses even in the topics they are interested in. But I let my mind wander anyways. When Kodi's mother first saw him enjoying music, she probably had no way of knowing how far it would, or could, go. What if Kodi's teachers and therapists had told her that she should restrict his access to music because it was overstimulating to him? Or that, because he loved music so much, it should be used only as a special reward? Or what if Kodi's life had been filled with so many therapy appointments that there was just no time for music?

A fictional, but realistic, example of something else that could have happened in this situation is from the British TV show, "The A Word." The show is centered around 5-year-old Joe, an autistic child whose special passion is music. He is constantly listening to music on his headphones and singing along, and he has an encyclopedic knowledge of it. His parents have recently found out that Joe is autistic. They are especially concerned about making him appear more "normal." They somehow get the idea that constantly listening to music is making Joe more autistic, So they attempt to stop him from listening to it. Luckily Joe is more strong-willed than his parents, and he gets his music back. But what if that same thing had happened to Kodi Lee? What if his parents, teachers and therapists had said, "He needs to be spending his time doing age-appropriate activities and playing in functional ways, not tinkering with a piano."

Long before I became a teacher, back when I worked as a paraprofessional the first time, I went to a training about autism. The speaker told us that quality of life means having the freedom to do the things you enjoy. The more time you get to spend doing what you love, the higher your quality of life is.

I am speaking especially to teachers and therapists here, because we are the ones who will encounter the most children. A parent generally has only their own children to contend with. When they discover that their child has autism or another special need, they usually don't have a whole bunch of background knowledge about it, unless they happen to also be a special ed teacher or a therapist. So they turn to us, because they want to do whatever is best for their child. Many times, parents will hear things like, "He needs to make eye contact," or "He needs to say, 'Hello' to his peers," or "He needs to play with  toys in an age-appropriate way." Parents may get the idea that they should focus on getting their child to appear as "normal" as possible, even (and maybe especially) if it means that he blends into the background instead of standing out as an individual.

My point is this. If you see that something makes a child's face light up...  the way Kodi Lee's face lit up when he heard music as a toddler... then fill his life with it. Don't try to steer him towards more typical interests instead... it is okay to try to broaden someone's horizons, as long as you don't take away the thing that lights up his life. Don't reserve it as a special reward. It can sometimes be used as a reward... for example, if he loves music the way Kodi Lee and the fictional Joe do, maybe he can be taken to see a concert as a reward or a treat, but he can still have access to his headphones and his musical instruments on a daily basis. If you want any child to have a better quality of life,  help them figure out what makes their face light up, and then find ways to help them have that thing as often as possible. They probably won't end up on America's Got Talent like Kodi Lee, but they will have something that makes them truly happy. And I think being happy is a lot better than being "normal."